Vintage Magazine: Famous Monsters of Filmland, Vol. 1, No. 1 (50 – 63)

Not much to say this issue except – I wonder how that voodoo snake ring works? It’s gotta be a good deal at only $1…unless they cut off right before ‘+ shipping and soul handling’.

Movie Monster Cocktails

As I just love a fun themed cocktail and I spend a lot of time promising myself I will eventually use that chemistry cocktail set my friends gave me three years ago, I couldn’t help but wonder – – are there other horror fans out there who’ve already done the legwork for me so that when I pull out my Friday the 13th set or my Ash Vs. Evil dead collection I’ve already got a recipe?

That was a stupid question. Of course there are. Below are some videos I’ve found that seemed to fit the theme best, provided they didn’t use Falernum. I hate Falernum, sorry gang. Also, please be sure to check out the other videos these guys have made if you enjoyed them. They’ve got some pretty cool stuff. Incidentally, a note of advice about flavored whipped creams if you’re struggling to find them, use 1/2 – 1 tsp of a flavored extract and blend it with heavy whipping cream. It’ll save you the legwork. If you want it sweeter, use a coffee syrup instead. Torani and Da Vinci are two of my preferred brands thanks to their sugar free options.

Vintage Magazine: Famous Monsters of Filmland, Vol. 1, No. 1 (Cover-Pg. 13)

This month I bring you something a little different. Instead of vintage comics, I’d like to visit a vintage magazine, ‘Famous Monsters of Filmland’. This series ran from 1958-1983. This is the father of horror magazines, which inspired all sorts (including my personal favorite, Fangoria). Originally conceived as a one-off, the first issue was so popular that they had an unexpected 25 year run! In fact, the first issue had to have a second printing because it sold out so fast.

What this magazine did that was so special, is that it reminded audiences (especially of the younger variety at the time) of the horror icons who had come and gone before, the silent greats like Lon Chaney Sr. This is a gem of archiving in general, because it preserves stills and stories that would otherwise have been lost forever if someone hadn’t come along to show why they were so wonderful. The history of this magazine is so rich, I can’t just describe it in a few select paragraphs, and I encourage you to explore it for yourselves. In the meantime, here’s the first part of the first issue which I will be sharing this October.

Book of the Week: Monster, by A. Lee Martinez

I have read so many of this man’s books. For me, his humorous balance in his story is on par with another favorite author of mine, R. Chetwynd-Hayes. I’ve already recommended one book by A. Lee Martinez in the past, Gil’s All Fright Diner, but honestly? I love this one even more. There was a period of time a few years ago where I was pretty much reading at least one of these books a week, and Monster is one of the best.

The story plays with a concept I rarely see done as well as it should be. There are monsters everywhere, and normal people don’t know about them. This one adds your typical Martinez guts and gore along with a succubus here and maybe a yeti destroying a grocery store there. A gland in people’s brains that lets them see monsters for what they are, and a sort of supernatural police force doing what they can to at least keep things somewhat normal.

What I love about A. Lee Martinez, is that his protagonists are both very normal and very special in so many creative ways. This book was no exception to the rule, and it is very easily a 3-day read if you put your mind to it. Or don’t. Just grab a glass of wine (or coffee) and enjoy.

Monstrous Paper Dolls

I know what we’re all thinking. Monster High dolls are cute, but they’re not classic. Classic model dolls are awesome, but kids can’t play with them without breaking something! If only there was some way for a child to enjoy classic horror monsters in a creative way…

if only…

Jill Bauman and Walter Velez have got you covered! The dolls below are only a few awesome highlights from the book, and there are many more (including, for some reason, the Easter bunny and Santa Clause to save them two more issues?) Now I would actually love to just share a scan of every page, but I highly encourage you to get the book if you have the chance. Below are just a few of the awesome selections just to get a bit of a taste…

Episode 21 – Mini Monsters

 

Life can get pretty rough when you find out you’ve got more than a rat problem in the pantry and the gnomes in the back garden start talking back. In this episode we discuss ‘mini’ monster films, including “The Munchies” and “Ghoulies”. God help us all.

Check out this episode!

 

Featured Kickstarter: Black Dog Devil

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1028393422/black-dog-devil-volume-1/widget/video.html

In a quaint 1950s town in rural Indiana, a witches coven was interrupted at the height of evil, and a curse was born. For 25 years, the curse was all but forgotten, until a Stranger walked in out of the rain one October night, and this once-sleepy town will never be the same…

– Dusty Crosley

Horror is an ever-evolving monster (pun aside), and one can’t help but think how well the genre suits just about every format, from print, to screen, to art, projection, radio, music, etcetera. I don’t think there has ever been a time when the genre had so much innovation or incredible variety as we’re seeing today. When I found this kickstarter, my breath was taken away by the eery beauty of the pictures in the video above. Frankly, I think you would be doing your self a disservice by not checking this project out.

Interested? Swing on over to the kickstarter page and help bring the first issue this gorgeous graphic series to life. Or, is that ‘unlife’?

Odd Monsters

Bored with the bogeyman? Not finding the clown thing too funny anymore? Are vampires in your nightmares just sucking you dry? Well, not to worry, there’s plenty of ‘wonderful’ creatures out there to ensure that your psyche stays freshly traumatized for years to come. Keeping the Japanese one to just one, because their mythology is so broad with yokai and spirits, that you can’t possibly cover them all in one go.

 

Katawaguruma/Katawa Guruma

Origin: Japanese

The female counterpart to the Wa nyūdō, this creature appears in the shape of a woman (usually naked) burning in eternal torment with the lower portions, or attached to, an ox cart wheel. The causes bad luck, ill fortune, and misery to those who encounter her, what’s more…the bad luck doesn’t just stop at one person, it can spread through the entire community associated with anyone who has met her. She also harvests the souls of the ‘impure’, the cruel, the sinful, etcetera, etcetera.

 

Likhoradka/Tryasavitsa

Origin: Slavic

Embodying a tall woman with black, messy hair, Likhoradka will spread  horrible calamities and plague wherever she goes, and to whomever she encounters. She can also possess anyone she chooses.

 

Black Annis/Agnes

Origin: British

Save your jokes, this lady is not someone you want to mess with. Absolutely hideous creature, a wizened crone with gnarly black claws, sharp teeth, one eye, and mottled blue skin. Some say her claws are made of iron, some say they’re just…particularly strong, I suppose. Residing around Leicestershire, Agnes spends most of her free time tearing travelers to pieces, redecorating her cave with the flayed skin of small children, and generally just being a terrible neighbor. Meg Mucklebones, anyone?

 

Kanontsistonties

Origin: Iriquois

Say what you will about Native American mythology, it seems to me that they really take the cake for the creepiest monsters out there. As much as I adore the Windigo, I felt like maybe delving into something a little less popular. Varying in size from miniscule to massive, the Kanontsistonties are essentially flying skulls with bat wings and a desperate craving for…you guessed it…human flesh. They are the product of two possibilities, victims of murder by beheading, or…they used to be cannibals in life, and decided they just couldn’t kick the habit in death either. They can’t stop, as they have no stomachs, so they’re pretty much doomed to eternal hunger.

 

Cheval Mallet

Origin: French

Horses. You can’t trust them. I had a horse step on my foot once. I didn’t like it. So when I learned of the Cheval Mallet, it came as no surprise that it turned out to be an evil horse. Well, that and the fact that I took French in high school, so the connection wasn’t too hard to make. Essentially, it appears at night as a beautiful horse, tricks you into riding it…and that’s it, for the rest of your life (and onwards), you’re trapped for eternity riding a beautiful horse. A beautiful evil horse. Or it drowns you. They like doing that, too.

Netflix/Hulu Instant Horror Watch 2016

It’s that time of year again. The Fog rolls in on your dvd shelf, eery Carpenter tunes playing as it awaits Halloween, while the echoes of ‘Trick ‘R Treat‘ can almost be heard outside your front door, and The Thing becomes Ravenous for Popcorn…yet, at the same time you wonder why these film references I just made seem to be disproportionately John Carpenter titles and a few other random titles thrown in. It’s like this game is Child’s Play, a veritable Witches of Eastwick…

Okay, that last one didn’t make sense at all, even as a play on words. Anyway, this October I decided to not only post the instant watch list on time (for once), but mix it with some Hulu for variety. Alas and alack, it’s mainly because Netflix really didn’t roll out with much for horror this October…and the proportion of films I actually wanted to watch that I hadn’t seen…well, this just seemed to be a little bit less painful. So, without further ado, the list begins…

1st. – The Rite

 

2nd. – The Silence of the Lambs

 

3rd. Most Likely toDie

 

4th. Hollows Grove

 

5th. Dead Set (this one is actually a show, but it’s 5 episodes, boiling it down to the length of one film. Plus, it’s awesome.)

 

6th. The Lodge

 

7th. Para Elisa

 

8th. 2001 Maniacs

 

9th. The Babadook

 

10th. Cujo

 

11th. Would You Rather

 

12th. All Hallows Eve: October 30th

 

13th. Stung

 

14th. Offpsring

 

15th. Curve

 

16th. Poor Pretty Eddie

 

17th. The Damned

 

18th. Beneath (2007)

 

19th. The Veil

 

20th. Occupant

 

21st. Final Girl

 

22nd. Stranded

 

23rd. Deformed Monsters

 

24th. Comforting Skin

 

25th. The House at the End of Time

 

26th. Witching & Bitching

 

27th. Out of the Dark

 

28th. Castle Freak

 

29th. The Host

 

30th. The Fury

 

31st. Jaws

Spooky Radio: My Favorite Stories

 

Often, I find myself listening to old-time radio in-between podcasts when I drive to/from work. Because if there’s a way to squeeze more horror into my day, I’ll figure it out. There’s plenty of them that were so unremarkable, that I’ll be halfway through listening to one and then remember I’d already heard it a year ago…but there are also some that have always stuck with me. The following is a short list of my favorite old-time radio episodes I suggest for any avid fan of spooky sounds. Most can be found searching on Itunes or even through my links.

 

Theater 5 – The Talkers

This series ran in the early 60s, and a vast majority of the episodes were science fiction-themed (which in my opinion, often borders the light between fantasy and horror.) This story in particular is a simple conversation between two men after a horrific event caused by humankind has led people to start…changing…into bug-like creatures. The more they breathe, the worse it gets.

 

Dimension X – Marrionettes Inc.

Hosted in 1950 by NBC, this show only lasted a year. Another Science Fiction show, with couple of quite gruesome episodes. This one intrigues me because it has an interesting twist on the idea of a human-like robot servant. A man learns he can use a robot to fool his wife so he can take a much-needed vacation…unfortunately, the robots in question don’t want to give up their places when their owners return.

Lights Out – It Happened

 

This show was a little more prolific than the others, running well near 15 years. It hopped station to station, and even spawned an actual tv show. It’s also one of the earlier horror shows on the radio, so quite historically important in it’s own right. Sometimes, when I look back at this episode in my memory, I get a chill just imagining how awful it would be to go through what the young girl in this one had to…trying to run away for a bit of fun, being trapped in a sewer, and forced into servitude to make ‘jewelry’ for a maniac.

 

Mysterious Traveler – The Good Die Young

 

Mysterious Traveler had it’s life in both radio and print, and in various different genres. The Good Die Young is an excellent little morsel about an evil little girl. What’s more, I wouldn’t be surprised if The Bad Seed heavily borrowed from it, because that’s all I could think about when I first heard this show.

 

 

Lights Out – Cat Wife

 

Yet another episode from Lights Out. Cat Wife makes you wonder what is truly worse…marrying a beautiful but hateful woman, or loving a man-eating cat?

The Price of Fear – Cat’s Cradle

 

I mentioned this one in an episode of my podcast, once upon a time. Suffice it to say, the whole series was voiced by…Vincent Price. So it’s incredible, of course. Cat’s Cradle in particular is interesting, because I’m always worried whether or not a spiteful cat has it out for me.

 

Nightfall – Guest of Honor

 

A bit newer than the others, this one was hosted by CBC in the early 80s. A dark story, but not quite as grim as most of the others I’ve recommended. It’s about a high-class woman who has simply seen too much in life, and has become so bored that she decides to invite death to a party…death accepts.